It's a Ferret Life

Freaky Ferret Women

Unwittingly, it has become my ongoing quest to offend pet owners of all types. Yesterday I came across a PBS documentary series entitled The Pursuit of Excellence:

THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE follows filmmaker Mark Lewis’ tradition of well-told stories with compelling characters, combined with an inevitably forward narrative and inherent humor. The featured characters are diverse in background, warmly endearing and sympathetic — people consumed by passion, with strong ambitions in their individual quests.

“Passion” is putting it mildly. Obsession would be a more apt term. I didn’t think it was possible but I found a group of pet owners even more bizarre than Crazy Cat Ladies. Freaky Ferret Women:

FERRETS: THE PURSUIT OF EXCELLENCE (7/18) offers an endearing and amusing glimpse at America’s most playful, mischievous pets — not to mention their distinctive owners. At the annual Ferret Buckeye Bash in Columbus, Ohio, the largest and most popular ferret show in the country, hundreds of top breeders, seasoned experts and ferret enthusiasts pamper and parade their pets in a quest for prizes and prestige. FERRETS offers a quirky contrast to the common animal show — these curious creatures lack the regal air of show cats or the respectable nature of pedigreed dogs — yet these ferrets are trained, pampered and primed by their doting owners in the hope of taking the top prize in the biggest ferret show in the country.

Yup, they’re “distinctive” all right. From what I gather, ferrets don’t live a long life. Most of these women (and one man) had boxes of ashes containing the cremated remains of all their deceased weasels all around their houses surrounded by elaborate memorials. One lady had 25 dead ferrets in her freezer. She was holding them for her fellow ferret freaks so they could have a mass cremation then distribute the ashes to everyone.

And of course no human interest story would be complete without several shots of sobbing pet owners mourning the loss of their little furry critters. And here is a … uh … pet peeve of mine, and this is not just the ferret freaks. It literally makes my skin crawl when I hear pet owners describe the death of their pet as being “just like losing your child”, usually by childless people. What a ridiculous statement! No. It’s not just like losing your child and it’s a heartless comparison of two things that aren’t even remotely comparable. Mourn your pet. Shed tears. Even build a shrine. I’ve had pets that were great “friends” and was deeply saddened when they died. But to compare the loss of a pet to the loss of a child is offensive.

My apologies in advance to Squawkboxnoise for the barrage of emails from furious freaky ferret owners that will surely follow.