It's a Ferret Life

Ferret owners work to make their pets legal

NEW YORK --

In an animal-loving nation that spends more than $41 billion a year on its 382 million assorted Marmadukes, Sylvesters, Tweetys, Nemos, Mickeys and Flickas, one popular pet lurks as an outlaw in parts of the country.

Ferrets, those slinky, mink-y cousins of weasels, badgers, skunks and polecats, amount to fauna non grata in New York City, Salt Lake City and numerous other municipalities, not to mention the states of California and Hawaii and the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

Who knew? The country's ferret owners are painfully aware of such laws, consider them groundless and continue to fight them. According to estimates from the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association, about 500,000 people own some 2 million ferrets. Ferret folks claim the real numbers are much higher. Given the multitude of ferret clubs, ferret-oriented Web sites and frolicsome ferret videos on YouTube, they well may be right.

But there is no doubt that ferret fans are furious over the designation of their so-called "fuzzies" as fugitives.

"Martin Luther King said an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. And this is an injustice. We're not talking about Darfur or 9/11, but it is an injustice. All domesticated companion animals - and ferrets are domesticated - should be treated equally," said David Gaines of the legal and legislative affairs committee of the American Ferret Association.

"It's because they believe they're wild animals and they believe they'll decimate the wild life. These are neutered and spayed animals," said an exasperated Norine Barnes, president of the Greater Chicago Ferret Association, which has about 275 members and runs a rescue shelter for ferrets, which are legal in Illinois.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals agrees. "The whole thing is ridiculous," said Lisa Weisberg, senior vice president for government affairs and public policy at the ASPCA, which opposed the 1999 ban on ferrets in New York City.

Such bans may seem absurd, but they are concerns for those illegally harboring ferrets, such as New Yorker Michelle V., a 24-year-old graphic artist and owner of three ferrets, who requested anonymity because she is breaking the law. Does she worry about her pets? "I do and I don't. If somebody's, like, overly interested, it just makes me a little wary," that someone might complain to the board of health, she said. "I don't care if I get slapped with a fine, but I fear they'll be taken away and put to sleep."

"I don't know what the genesis of all this was, but it seems there was some confusion between wild ferrets and the European stoat, which people keep as pets," Weisberg said. "The European stoat was domesticated a thousand years ago."

Domesticated ferrets actually may have been around more than 2,000 years ago. In about 450 B.C. the Greek playwright Aristophanes mentioned ferrets in his satire "The Achaeans," in which he compared those northern Greeks to thieving ferrets.

Ferrets, to this day, are notorious thieves who will lift anything from a computer mouse to a fountain pen. That trait - and more - is reflected in their formal Latin name: Mustela Putorius Furo. Mustela refers to the mice eaten by animals in this genus. Putorious or stench refers to the musky scent of these animals. Furo is Latin for thief.

"Biting and stinking are two of the stereotypes," said the ferret association's Gaines. He and other ferret-philes point out that other pets also can bite but, like dogs, ferrets can be trained not to nip and vaccinated against rabies. Ferret aficionados believe actor Ben Stiller contributed to that unfortunate stereotype when he complained of being bitten by his ferret co-star in the 2004 comedy, "Along Came Polly."

As for odor, they note that most ferrets have their anal scent glands removed before sale and unwelcome fragrance is minimal if owners regularly launder ferret bedding, clean their litter boxes and remove wax from their ears.

There are wild ferrets, most notably the North American Black-footed ferret which biologists are coaxing back from the brink of extinction, but they are not the same as their domesticated cousins.

Nonetheless, bans on ferrets, though gradually being lifted, remain in many parts of the country. In California, an underground ferret railroad network helps owners elude state border checkpoints where Department of Fish & Game agents may check for furry illegal immigrants and confiscate them.

Exceptions apparently are made for thespian ferrets. The clever creatures have appeared, sometimes prominently, in a number of movies, including "The Beastmaster" (1982), "The Big Lebowski" (1998), "Mars Attacks" (1996) and "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (2005), in which Potter's snotty rival Draco Malfoy memorably is morphed into a white ferret as punishment.

Ferret fanatics had great hopes that the Golden State ban would be lifted when actor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who co-starred with a ferret in the 1990 comedy "Kindergarten Cop," was elected governor. But Schwarzenegger dashed those hopes in 2004 when he vetoed legislation granting amnesty to ferret residents. "I love ferrets," he said, but rejected the bill as too bureaucratic and lacking an environmental impact report.

Former GOP presidential candidate and New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani is also on the list of ferret foes for his 2001 veto of a City Council bill lifting the ban on pet ferrets. He sided with the city health department's 1999 inclusion of ferrets on a prohibited long list of "wild, ferocious, fierce, dangerous" animals such as lions, tigers and Tasmanian devils.

While mayor, Giuliani also famously tongue-lashed ferret advocate David Guthartz on a 1999 radio show, calling him "deranged" and telling him that "this excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness."

It's a good bet Giuliani will not be attending the nation's largest ferret show, Columbus, Ohio's Ferret Buckeye Bash on Aug. 23, when the fun-loving ferrets compete in such events as tube races. Breeder and show coordinator Scarlett Gray-Saling can't remember exactly the costume winner last year but said it was either a ballerina ferret or one dressed in a Hawaiian grass skirt and coconut bra.

FACTS ON FERRETS

-Ferrets, domesticated for more than 2,000 years, have been used to hunt rabbits, rid ships of vermin and to carry guide wires for cabling through pipes.

-Of the nation's 6 million owners of small animals, 8 percent own ferrets.

-On average, ferret owners annually spend: $79 on non-surgical vet expenses; $14 on grooming; $105 on supplies, such as litter and sleeping hammocks; $73 on food and $73 on toys. Ferrets are susceptible to intestinal blockages from ingesting small objects and diseases of the adrenal gland and pancreas, which are costly to treat.

-The average price of a ferret in 2006 was $88.

-Male ferrets are called hobs, females are jills and babies are kits.

-Hyperactive when awake, ferrets sleep about 18 hours a day.

-Average weight at maturity: 1 to 5 lbs.

-Typical life span: 6 to 10 years.

Sources: APPMA's 2007-2008 National Pet Owners Survey; American Ferret Association